How to Reframe Your Success by Celebrating Small Wins 

There is a LOT going on in your work, life, and the world right now, and the stress you feel can be overwhelming at times. 

One way to reduce this stress is to reframe your definition of success and always celebrate the small wins. 

Reframing Success 

When doing important work that you are passionate about, you can get stuck defining success using only one metric: did you achieve the final big result? 

Did you get the protective order in court? 

Did you receive the full amount in your grant application? 

Did the tough conversation with a staff member have a positive result? 

If you focus on one single result that determines your success, you are setting yourself up for failure. 

However, each of these big, final results consists of several smaller steps that you completed, and each of these smaller steps also has the possibility of a win or a loss. 

How would your stress be different if you stopped focusing only on the final, big win and reframed success as the number of small wins you achieved along the way? 

What if you started celebrating the small wins? 

Celebrating Small Wins on the Crisis and Suicide Prevention Line 

A lifetime ago, I volunteered on the Vancouver Crisis and Suicide Prevention line, answering calls and providing peer support. As a crisis line worker, you rarely, if ever, know the final story of the caller. You only know how the call ended. If I had focused only on the big win: that the caller does not harm themselves, I would have experienced constant frustration, and the stress of an already stressful job would have been overwhelming (sound familiar?). 

Luckily, the stress of never knowing the end result was reduced because I was trained to celebrate all the small successes I had while supporting someone considering self-harm: 

• I attempted to connect with the caller and earn their trust - WIN 
• I listened while they shared and provided empathy - WIN 
• I shared resources with them if appropriate - WIN 
• I completed a suicide assessment - WIN 
• During the call, I asked for support from another worker in the call center - WIN 
• I sent the police to assist (if necessary) - WIN 
• I completed a debrief with a supervisor after the call - WIN 
• Once I was ready, I turned my phone line back on - WIN 

If the crisis line received a letter or call in the future where someone thanked us for saving them, we celebrated that win, but this was a bonus success. Hearing from the caller about the big win wasn't required for us to be successful in our work. 

Celebrate what you are in control of – not the final result. 

 Looking over the above list, notice that: 

•  All the steps on the list are actions I was in control of taking. I chose to celebrate actions that I could complete independently of what the caller or anyone else in the call center did. 
• None of these wins were dependent on a successful result. I did what I could to support the caller and celebrated each small win, resulting in a successful call I could be proud of, no matter what happened after the call. 

For example, my small wins were based on: 

• Attempting to connect with the caller and earn their trust. I did not base this win on successfully connecting with the caller - that is their choice, not mine. 
• Sharing resources with them. Whether they actually used those resources didn't matter, only that I shared them. 
• I asked a colleague for support. It didn't matter if they were able to support me; I celebrated that I asked for help. 
• I followed procedure and sent the police. Even if the caller was angry with me, or the police ended up not being helpful, sending them was a success.  

Steps for Celebrating the Small Wins 

 It is easier to celebrate small wins if you get clear on what you will celebrate ahead of time. To do this, you can use the following steps: 

1. Pick a task you do at work. 
2. Define the final requirement you use to determine if this task is successful (The BIG win.) 
3. Break down the big task into the smaller steps required from start to finish. Try for 5-10 smaller steps as a guideline. 
4. Determine which smaller steps/results you are in control of. (More on what you are in control of below) 
5. Determine which smaller steps/results you are not in control of. 
6. Identify what success looks like for each smaller step you are in control of. 
7. When you complete these smaller steps successfully, celebrate the win. 
8. When you have success with smaller steps you aren't in control of, celebrate them as a bonus win. (Remember, these wins are not required to feel successful.) 
9. If you achieve the big final result, celebrate the big win! BUT don't base your success only on this final win. 

How to Determine What You are in Control of 

A challenging part of this process is being honest with yourself about what you are and are not in control of. 

Truthfully, you are not in control of much other than yourself. You are in control of your own emotions, thoughts, actions, judgments, responses, and reactions. 

 Here are some examples to help you think about what you are in control of: 

• How you have a conversation - not the results of that conversation, or the other person’s reaction. 
• How you support a client/colleague/family member - not the result of that support, how they react, or if they actually listen.  
• Information you give someone - not if they use it, or how they use it. 
• Filling out paperwork - not the final approval of that paperwork. 
• Asking someone for help - not whether they help you or not. 
• Guiding someone to do their work properly – not if they do the work properly. 

That's it. Everything else is out of your control. If you try to control “everything else,” you are going to increase your levels of frustration and stress. Instead, spend your time and energy on those things you ARE in control of. 

Ways to Track Your Wins 

Now that you have your list of small steps you are going to celebrate you need to find a way to track them. Tracking your wins will help you remember your successes on the toughest days and ensure that you take the time to celebrate.  

Here are some ideas for tracking your wins: 

• Write a brief summary of your wins in a journal. 
• Track the different steps and wins on a whiteboard or planner. (Great for tracking small wins for a group of people.) 
• Talk with someone in your trusted network about your small wins. 
• Discuss small wins in team meetings or leadership meetings. 
• Ask your direct reports to talk about their small wins. 

Ideas for Celebrating Your Small Wins 

Once you are clear on the small wins you are tracking, the next step is figuring out how you will celebrate. You may decide to celebrate each small win separately or wait until you have collected a few small wins.The key is to have gratitude for your wins and celebrate when things go well.  

Here are some ideas for celebrating your wins: 

• Take a break, go for a walk, meditate, journal - do something small in the moment to reflect on your win. 
• Share your win and celebrate with colleagues, family, or friends. 
• Buy yourself your favorite drink. 
• Go out for a meal. 
• Go to the library or buy the new book you have been wanting to read. 
• Take time to work on a favorite hobby: knit, scrapbook, bike, play a game, etc. 
• Close the door and cheer, sing, or dance. 
• I have high cholesterol, so I have to limit one of my favorite things in the world: ice cream. My go-to ritual for celebrating small wins is going to Dairy Queen for a banana split. 

Your celebration doesn't have to be big or cost money. You just need to take the time to acknowledge the win. 

Start Celebrating Your Small Wins 

Once you have reframed your definition of success and are celebrating small wins, the final results of your tasks will have less impact on your mindset and stress levels. 

Didn’t get the protective order in court? You successfully provided support to your client, worked closely with the lawyer, filled out all the required paperwork, and made the client feel heard. 

Didn’t receive the full amount in your grant application? You successfully gathered all the necessary data, collected reports throughout the year, properly filled out the paperwork, and clearly made your case for the money. 

The tough conversation with a staff member ended with them being angry? You successfully listened closely, provided empathy, took their request into serious consideration, and replied respectfully, following the organization’s policies. 

Not achieving the big win in all these examples sucks. 

Feel how much it sucks. Be stressed. But only for a little while.  

Then reflect on all the small wins you had along the way, and realize that, in the end, you did a great job.  

You were successful.