5 Steps to Saying YES to the Things You Love
RAFT Team, May 4, 2020
Many people have an aversion to boundaries. They’re hard to determine, all about “no,” and difficult to enforce. Today we’d like to flip that thinking on its head. Boundaries can be all about saying “yes,” too. Because truth be told, you don’t say “no” just for the sake of saying no. You say “no” to make room for a “yes.” You could probably use a few more happy, positive yeses in your life right now. So how do we start saying yes?
These few steps can lead you to more joy, more peace, and more things you love.
Visualize the Life You Want
Can you see the life you want? Can you picture it in your mind’s eye? You might find it difficult to visualize that ideal place you want to end up. If that’s the case, envision one or two steps happier than where you are right now. These don’t have to be gigantic steps. You might just think, “I wish I had five minutes to myself each day. That would really help me.” Maybe you wish you had time to take a walk, pick up that hobby you used to do a few years ago, or put together a puzzle.
If you’re still stuck, consider making a list of all the things you like to do or want to learn. List what makes you smile and what brings you joy. Write down the things that fill you up on the inside.
Give Yourself Permission
The next step is to allow yourself to believe that it would be okay to do one or two of the things on your list. Decide that you are worth the time and effort. That once in a while, other things might have to wait, and that’s okay. One of the most important parts in this process of permission is to realize that you are worth investing in. When you can dare to believe your value, it’s much easier to give yourself permission to take one step closer to thriving.
And if you’re like so many who put others first all.the.time, it may help to realize that when you take the time to fill up your soul, you’re able to serve others from your overflow. You can help others with more energy, more passion, and more creativity when you’ve taken the time to pause and nourish yourself.
Choose Your No
You’re busy and your days are probably packed from morning until night. You’re right when you say you don’t have time to do anything on your wish list. That’s exactly why you need to choose one or two things to say no to, so you can make room for a yes. And remember, you can always say no by saying yes differently.
Start easy. When you’re putting dinner leftovers away, can you pack your lunch for the following day? This may save you 5-10 minutes in the morning and allow you a minute or two for a quick meditation instead. Can you delegate a weekly chore to someone else in the house? Even littles can lend a helping hand! You might have to loosen up on your ideals: like cereal for dinner once a week so you have time for a walk.
Map out a typical week, choose 1-2 tasks that you can reassign to someone else or remove from your to-do list altogether. Each “no” means a little more room for a “yes” to the things you love.
Leave the Guilt Behind
Once you make space in your day / week / month for your yes, enjoy your time. Don’t give in to the guilt that may surface. Don’t sabotage your decision with self-condemnation. And don’t allow something else to take that time slot you’ve set aside for your yes. Lean into your brave step towards that life you want. Practice gratitude for where you’re headed. This new life not only allows you to thrive, but helps you help others more effectively.
Thrive in Your Yes
Lean in and enjoy your decision to prioritize your own self-care. Enjoy saying yes to the things you love. Once you get a taste of the change this can make in your life and for your loved ones, you’ll want to keep making space for these few moments each week.